I recently started going to
the gym in my office again. And I observed something common between people who
go to the gym and people who watch Game of Thrones. Actually that’s misleading (though
it’s a catchy idea) – what I noticed is something that is common to most fraternities,
if not all. My recent visits to the gym have been met with a lot of enthusiasm
from other friends from work who are regulars at the gym. They offer
suggestions on correct postures, politely exaggerate my achievements, give pep
talks and generally “have my back”.
I observed the same
phenomenon when I started watching Game of Thrones, and it was even more
evident when I started reading the books. The fans of the show/books in your
friend circle are all excited when you start watching or reading, and they are
always there if you want to get into discussions (which is inevitable). But the
greatest proof of fans watching out for one of their own is the policing around
plot spoilers. The number of forums dedicated to the show and books are insane,
but despite so many avenues, the amounts of spoilers that come out are
surprisingly low (especially given that there are so many things to spoil). And
it isn’t that this just happens – almost all content on analysis of the books
or show comes with more than adequate spoiler warnings.
There have been other
instances earlier in my life as well. When I was an article assistant for an
audit firm, I had to travel to Mumbai by train. Towards the end of my already
long and quite uncomfortable journey, I had to take a local to reach the hotel.
My colleague and I didn’t find a seat right away and we were standing as
the train groaned into motion. But almost soon after, a person got up from his
seat and offered it to me saying “I guess you are new to the city. Take a seat –
be comfortable.” (I guess my bags and “somebody kill me” expression gave it
away). A few others nodded sympathetically and started shuffling to make way
for me to take off my backpack and sit. Taken aback and a bit unsure of how to
receive this generosity, I first offered the seat to an older gentleman who was
standing near to me. He waved me away, and my saviour told me “Don’t worry – he’ll
get a seat. You sit down”; and proceeded to almost forcefully plonk me onto the
seat.
When I was a college
student in Chennai, I enrolled for CA classes at the prestigious Prime Academy.
The institute, famous for its brilliant faculty and its status as temple of CA
learning, is also notorious for its early morning classes. Without a vehicle, I
had to wake up before dawn and walk two kilometres to catch a bus and get to
class barely on time if I was lucky. And all that effort would earn me a
miniscule portion of a bench in the last row, where I could precariously rest
half a butt cheek. I gave up after two days. A few days later, a classmate at college
who also attended classes at the academy came up to me and casually enquired on
my absence. I told him my situation, and he instantly offered to pick me up. He
waved away my protests with a simple “Your place is on my way to class – it’s
no trouble.”
I know that the examples I
have given aren’t formal fraternities (though they fit the bill), and that this
behaviour is expected in a fraternity – in fact it should be its defining
feature. But when I hear about the kind of horrors one has to go through to get
into an actual college fraternity in many places, and the continued abuse they
face to stay in, I’m not so sure. There are assholes in every group, but I have
had mostly positive experiences and I am grateful for it. And I don’t want to
get political, but the idea of fraternity is slowly getting a lot of hate
around the world; which seems to be leaning towards cliques not so slowly but
oh-so surely.
I guess I’m just trying to
point out the lasting need for fraternity, and that a few seemingly small acts
of kindness can leave a lasting impression. Or maybe I’m just trying to thank
the nice guys who made me feel welcome in an uncertain time and place. Or maybe
I wanted to brag about going to the gym (however briefly). Either way, thought
I should put this out there.
P.S. Harish, if you are reading this, I am forever
grateful for the bike rides to class. Without knowing it, you made a CA out of
me.
